Courage is an
indispensable yet--even in psychotherapy--surprisingly underrated commodity.
Life requires courage. Yet we tend to lose sight of its vital meaning,
power and importance. I am not speaking solely here of the obvious
physical courage of the daredevil, boxer, soldier or superhero, or the selfless
courage of those willing to risk their own skin to rescue others, but of the extraordinary,
heroic courage demanded of each of us every day.
Consider the courage it takes to live on this
undeniably dangerous planet of ours, where earthquakes, tsunamis,
epidemics, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, hurricanes or a random meteor strike
can, at any moment, destroy our dwellings and kill us or our loved ones, Or
savagely murdered by some rival tribe or gang, be the innocent victim of a
street shooting, school massacre or violent home invasion, or brutally mugged
in the park or street. Where routine commercial airplane flights can be
hijacked by religious or political fanatics and deliberately crashed into some
building or blown out of the sky. Where, as in Japan most recently nuclear reactors catastrophically fail,
contaminating our air, food and water. And where a hydrogen bomb in the hands
of terrorists or during wartime could instantly vaporize entire cities and
precipitate a devastating "nuclear winter" across the planet. A world
where, on any given day, we or those we care for could be killed or crippled in
a car crash, hit by a bus, or suffer a massive heart attack or debilitating
stroke. Or where a fascistic government can for little or no reason have
citizens arrested and secretly executed for speaking out, seeking freedom, or
simply being of a certain ethnic background. A world, in which famine, drought,
rampant unemployment or global economic crisis can profoundly exists threaten
not only our way of life, but our fundamental ability to feed our families.
Given these terrifying facts of life, how do we muster the courage each day to
get out of bed and face such stark, existential reality? Yet, most of us do
just that. We get up, get dressed, go to school or work, face the speeding
two-ton hunks of shiny steel hurtling down the freeway, the abusive spouse,
parent or boss, and the ever-present dangers of participating in this
extraordinarily perilous postmodern place. How? Well, for most, the solution is
unconsciousness Denial.
The easiest way is to block out our awareness of these
ubiquitous existential threats. Then, no courage is really necessary. For where
there is no perceived risk, nothing to fear, no threat, who needs courage? But
there is definitely a high cost to this strategic unconsciousness: We sacrifice
our vitality, self-awareness, sensitivity and capacity to fully experience our
environment in all its volatile terror, beauty and wonder. Of course, we all
need some sense of comfort, safety and security in life. Such self-deception serves
this defensive purpose, and is, to some extent, psychologically sound. Too much
reality can be overwhelming for the fragile human psyche. Yet, this universal
tendency toward rendering ourselves oblivious or blind to life's inherent, riskier ness can itself
be seen as a failure of courage.
What is courage? Courage is a kind of strength, power
or resolves to meet a scary circumstance head on. Courage is called upon whenever we confront a difficult, frightening,
painful or disturbing situation. When our resources are challenged or pushed to
the absolute limit. When we have been felled threatened weak, vulnerable, intimidated or terrified.
When our first instinctive reaction is to flee at such times, life is begging
an existential question of us: Can we find the courage to face and defeat our
fear, or will we be defeated by it? Can we call forth what theologian Paul
Tillich called our "courage to be“? Or will we cowardly choose instead, as
Shakespeare's Hamlet deliberates, "not to be"?
Courage is of course, synonymous with bravery and
fortitude. But today, we have lost the true essence of courage. The word courage comes from the French root cour or coeur, which means heart. So courage has to do with the
heart, that vital muscle that keeps our blood flowing and sustains life.
Symbolically, the heart represents the spiritual core or innermost center of
feelings, especially eros.
Many centuries ago, the concept of courage referred to the emotions, feelings
or daimonic passions in
general, including lust, love, anger or rage. Love and sexual passion can be
the catalyst for courageous action. A mother's love for her
children can lead to courageously laying her life down to save her offspring. Falling
in love and sexual lust encourage us to reach out to one another and risk
relationship. And platonic love and compassion encourages us to selflessly help
those less fortunate than ourselves, say, as in the case of Mother Teresa.
The connection between anger, rage and courage (cou-rage) is especially key: Courage
often requires the energizing, fortifying daimonic
affects of anger or rage to precipitate fuel or sustain it. As Rollo May (1981)
explains, "Encountering one's destiny requires strength, whether the
encounter takes the form of embracing, accepting, or attacking. . . . Constructive
anger is one way of encountering destiny." And, I would add, of generating
courage. As well as countering apathy, depression and despair. Today, this
more complex understanding of courage persists when we refer to someone very
brave as "having a lot of heart," i.e., being intensely passionate. Mel
Gibson's character, hot-tempered Scottish freedom fighter William Wallace in Braveheart (1995) is a fine example
of such raging courage.
Courage is required in almost every basic human
activity or endeavor. For instance, to allow oneself to love and commit to
another person takes immense courage. Separating from our parents and forging
an independent life for ourselves is a courageous act. To survive an abusive,
traumatic or neglected childhood with some sense of dignity and integrity
intact demonstrates tremendous courage and resilience. Getting old demands
courage (“Staring at Sixty.") It takes courage to authentically be oneself
in the world, and, as May (1976) points out in The Courage to Create, to dare to be truly creative, to
artistically express and expose one's innermost self. Career or relationship
changes require courage as is pursuing one's fondest dreams, or, as Joseph
Campbell put it, to "follow your bliss." Indeed, it takes terrific
courage to live, and to do so creatively, lovingly, meaningfully and
productively.
Courage also comes into play when morality and
spirituality are at stake. Moral or spiritual
courage is what motivates us to do the right thing, to right or
wrong, to take a stand for some dearly held moral principle or spiritual value
despite the personal pride or public opinion. This kind of courage is
exemplified by Jesus of Nazareth's crisis of courage in the Garden of Gethsemane ("O my Father, if it is possible, let this cup
pass from Me. ") and Mahatma Gandhi's or Martin Luther King's
commitment to passive, non-violent resistance. Standing up to evil and fighting
for what we truly believe in takes moral courage, especially when it places
one's own physical safety or that of one's family at risk. Spiritual or moral
courage is what allows us to acknowledge our human failings, weakness and
fears, and accept rather than conceal them behind a facade of macho bravado or
spiritual pretension. Paradoxically, it can be a courageous and
encouraging act to confess our vulnerability, sensitivity, anxiety or despair
to others Evil deeds, such as mass murders or serial killings, may seem to some
to take courage. But such courage is pathologically displaced and perverted. These
cowardly violent perpetrators failed or refused to muster the courage to
establish a place in and constructively contribute to society. Theirs is a wicked rage for recognition.
Suicide can, in some extreme situations, take courage, but, more often than
not, is more a manifestation of cowardice than courage. The same may be said of
nihilism, a deeply discouraged, sweeping negation and devaluation of life as
meaningless. "Courage," writes Tillich (1952), "is the power of
life to affirm itself in spite of . . . ambiguity, while the negation of life because
of its negativity is an expression of cowardice." Courage is needed to
tolerate and, as much as possible without pathologically distorting reality,
transform meaninglessness into meaning. For, as C.G. Jung concludes, "Man
cannot stand a meaningless life."
We need courage to constructively encounter fates,
defeat despair, and to heroically find and fulfill our destiny. For example,
when composer Ludwig van Beethoven discovered he was losing his hearing at the
age of twenty-eight, he became understandably depressed about his unfortunate
fate. He fell into despair. Then rage. And eventually, his anger gave him the courage needed to encounter his
fate and fulfil his musical destiny, resolving to "raise superior to every
obstacle" and "take Fate by the throat." Despite total deafness, Beethoven bravely went on to
compose his most heroic and beautiful music right up until his death at
fifty-seven.
Courage learns the "Cowardly Lion" in the
classic film The Wizard of Oz
(1939), is something without which we can have no real self-esteem, pride or
power, and must ultimately come from within rather than without. He is so
guilt-ridden and ashamed of his own fear, anxiety and perceived cowardice that
he cannot recognize his innate courage as he bravely accompanies Dorothy and
Toto to see the Wizard of Oz. As he is finally wisely counseled by the Wizard,
fear, fleeing and inaction is not necessary to be equated with cowardice. For,
as the saying goes, "Discretion can often be the better part of Val our."
Sometimes it takes more courage to tactically back away from a confrontation
than to mindlessly attack to stand down rather than further escalate a
treacherous crisis. The part of wisdom is, knowing when to do, which to be able
to consciously pick and choose our battles rather than unconsciously or
impulsively reacting.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but moving ahead
despite fear. For if there is no fear, which needs
courage? Of course, encouragement--the supportive provision of exhortation--
can, as in the movie, be sought and received, and much of psychotherapy
consists of such clinical encouragement to face, accept and fight to become
one's self in the world. Indeed, Alfred Adler recognized that one of the most
common underlying conditions in patients seeking psychotherapy is
discouragement. In this sense, the "great and powerful" Wizard of Oz
is an archetypal representation of the psychotherapist, upon who much power and
wisdom is projected by the patient. And, as the timeless story makes clear,
seeking such professional assistance is itself an act of courage, a bold and
decisive step toward healing and wholeness.
Fascinatingly, in L. Frank Baum's book (1900), upon
which the film was based, the Wonderful
Wizard of Oz prescribes a potion to bolster the Cowardly Lion's courage.
Alcohol has traditionally been referred to as "liquid courage," but,
of course, its fortifying effects last only as long as intoxication. Psychiatric
medications many of which, whether recognized or not by physicians, are
external sources of "biochemical courage"-- are widely prescribed
today for depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, psychosis and other fundamentally
discouragement-related symptoms and syndromes. In the positive sense, these
drugs can, for many, temporarily provide the courage to survive devastating
traumas and deal with reality rather than escaping from it. But ultimately,
courage must be discovered internally, and seems to spring from a place in us
we previously never knew existed, some secret reservoir or inner source of
strength, sustenance and steeliness in the face of life's inevitable
catastrophes, frustrations and disappointments.
In the final analysis, courage is essentially an
existential choice. Courage is the empowering experience of a decision to stand
up and withstand the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." And,
when wounded or knocked down, to pick oneself up, dust oneself off, and
"keep on keep in' on." A choice to stand and fight when appropriate,
rather than run to tolerate or attack rather than cower and withdraw, to
persevere rather than quit, to act with integrity rather than expedience, to
take responsibility rather than slough it off, to embrace reality rather than
retreat from it, to move forward in life rather than regress or stagnate, to
create rather than destroy, to love rather than hate, to deal with one's demons
rather than not to consciously face the existential facts of suffering,
infirmity and death rather than denying them. If truth be told, the archetypal
virtue of courage--true courage rather than mere bravado--is a prime
determinant of what we do with life. And what we don't do with it. And of how
we feel about ourselves. Like the Cowardly Lion, who constantly looks for
courage outside himself, we may already be more courageous, more heroic, than
we imagine. Acknowledging our past acts of courage, tapping into our innate
capacity to be courageous, and seeking professional encouragement, when needed
is a constructive means of marshaling the requisite courage to face
the sometimes daunting past, present and future, whatever it may bring.
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